Courtship and Marriage
| Courtship and Marriage | |
|---|---|
| Moravska State Archive · 1976 | |
| Classification | Rituals and Calendar |
| Status | canon |
| Last updated | 2026-11-03 |
| Archive source | 06 Rituals and Calendar/Courtship and Marriage.md |
| Length | 997 words (5 min read) |
| Where the pair lives | The town of the better wage |
| Which line the house follows | The coast line, if the house is in a port |
| The care of the old parents | 6 months in each place |
| The gift debt | Split by the size of the wedding |
| Internal links | 5 outgoing, 4 incoming |
| Sources | 5 cited |
Contents
[hide]Marriage joins two lines, not two persons. The couple chooses. The lines approve. The approval is the hard part.
The two systems [edit]
| Feature | Coast | Interior |
|---|---|---|
| Who looks for a match | The mother and the aunt | A matchmaker, the Baba |
| Where a pair meets | The pier, the dance, the school | The Kervan Fair, a church feast |
| The first visit | The young man at the door, evening | The family visit with a gift |
| The engagement | A ring and a public word | A written agreement and a gift |
| The house after the wedding | The house of the bride's mother | The compound of the groom |
| The main gift | A house share | A plot share and a chest |
Coast courtship [edit]
A young man visits the house in the evening. The rite is called malkata vrata ("the little door").
The visit follows 5 steps.
- The young man knocks and says his line.
- The mother opens the door and looks at his shoes.
- The pair sits in the kitchen, not in the room.
- The mother stays for 20 minutes and then leaves.
- The young man leaves before 22:00.
The mother looks at 4 things: the shoes, the hands, the work, and the line. A clean shoe and a hard hand are good signs.
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Note:
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The shoes
A deck hand buys a new pair of shoes for the third visit. The mother sees the shoes and asks about the wage. The pair marries in the same year.
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Interior courtship [edit]
The Baba arranges a meeting. The rite is called ogled ("the look").
The Baba checks 4 things.
- The land and the herd of the line.
- The health of the mother.
- The temper of the father.
- The work record of the young person.
A good match joins two households of equal size. A match of unequal size needs a written condition.
The engagement [edit]
An engagement is public. The word matters more than the ring.
| Element | Coast | Interior |
|---|---|---|
| The word | The mother says "we accept" at the table | The Dedo says "the word is given" |
| The ring | A gold ring, if the family has one | A ring and a copper coin |
| The gift | A length of cloth and a bottle | A lamb, a barrel of wine, a plot share |
| The witness | The aunt | The Baba and the priest |
| The wait | 6 months to 2 years | 1 year |
A broken engagement is a public shame. The line that breaks it returns the gifts and adds a gift. The addition ends the quarrel.
The wedding [edit]
A wedding takes 3 days in the interior and 2 days in the coast.
| Day | Coast | Interior |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | The civil registry and a family table | The civil registry and the church |
| 2 | The church rite and a meal for 80 to 200 | The church, the procession, a meal for 200 to 400 |
| 3 | A small meal for the close line | The bride's chest moves. The table continues |
The party offers a "palace of ceremonies" for a civil wedding. About 40 percent of town couples use it. About 70 percent also hold a church rite.
The house and the name [edit]
The coast rule is clear. The bride stays in her mother's house. The groom moves in.
Three results follow.
- The children take the line of the mother for the house.
- The groom keeps his name and his tools.
- The groom's mother loses a son and gains a guest.
A groom in this position is domazet. In 1976 the word is neutral on the coast and sharp in the interior.
A mixed marriage [edit]
A marriage between the coast and the interior needs a written contract. The parties call it spogodba ("the agreement").
The contract settles 4 points.
| Point | Common solution |
|---|---|
| Where the pair lives | The town of the better wage |
| Which line the house follows | The coast line, if the house is in a port |
| The care of the old parents | 6 months in each place |
| The gift debt | Split by the size of the wedding |
The contract is not a legal paper. A kinsman writes it and 4 people sign it.
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Warning:
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The marriage conflict
Two systems, one couple. A coast mother expects a son-in-law in the house. An interior Dedo expects a bride in the compound. The pair cannot satisfy both. The contract is the only answer, and it satisfies neither.
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Marriage across faith [edit]
A marriage between an Orthodox and a Muslim family is rare. The state permits it. The two faiths do not bless it.
The couple takes a civil wedding. The families hold 2 separate meals. The children take the faith of the father in the Marches and the faith of the mother in the port.
Divorce [edit]
A divorce is legal and it is a public failure. The rate is low: 1 divorce for 9 marriages in 1976.
The house stays with the coast wife. The flat in a panelka goes to the person on the lease, who is usually the man. See Daily Life and Panelki.
Costs [edit]
| Item | Cost (leva) |
|---|---|
| Civil registry | 4 |
| Church rite | 30 |
| Meal for 100 | 900 |
| Dress and suit | 260 |
| Gifts received | 1,200 to 3,000 |
A wedding pays for itself through gifts. The gift book records the debt for 30 years. See Hospitality and Gift Rules.
Other notes [edit]
See also[edit]
Sources[edit]
- Primary source Ministry of Culture (1977). Field notes from the Skalina survey. Zaligrad Institute of Ethnography. ZIE-1977-3286. Cited in A mixed marriage, Coast courtship. See also Daily Life and Panelki.
- Survey report Coastal Survey Office (1977). Coastal survey report: the Kraybrezhie. Coastal Survey Office. CSO-1977-5705. Cited in Coast courtship, The engagement. See also Rites of Passage.
- Decree Narodna Biblioteka Archivist (1977). State Sports Council Decree 214. State Sports Council. SSC-1977-4701. Cited in The house and the name, Other notes. See also Coastal Matriarchies.
- Oral history Archive Clerk 14 (1974). Oral history transcript, Zaligrad. Narodna Biblioteka Moravska. NBM-1974-9448. Cited in The two systems, Interior courtship. See also Hospitality and Gift Rules.
- Register M. Dragova (1977). Parish register extracts, Tri Limana. Archdiocese of Zaligrad. ADR-1977-2206. Cited in The house and the name, Interior courtship. See also Daily Life and Panelki.
References[edit]
Documents in the archive that cite or cross-reference Courtship and Marriage:
- ^ "Coastal Matriarchies". Culture, Narodna Biblioteka Moravska, 1976.
- ^ "Festivals and Calendar". Rituals and Calendar, Narodna Biblioteka Moravska, 1976.
- ^ "Leisure and Games". Arts and Leisure, Narodna Biblioteka Moravska, 1976.
- ^ "Rites of Passage". Rituals and Calendar, Narodna Biblioteka Moravska, 1976.